My Fear

My fear has appeared. Opinionated him appears to be my doing after re-reading his blog and this has not gone in my favour. I tried to adjust but no matter how hard I try, I get hurt every time.

Does it mean that he can be mean in words just to be sure that he won't get hurt and protect himself?
Does it mean that emotional intimacy can totally be ignored just so that he can articulate what he wants and feel and not bother on the intonation/context of the sentence that come out of him?
Does it mean that expression can also be cold when facing me?

Where did that wall come from? If there is a wall to be put up, shouldn't it be for in case if we don't get back together? When I mentioned about my concern if we get back together, this was also mentioned in my post, the awkwardness that we will face.We have, however survived getting together for another year.. in about 2 months, it will mark our 1st year after getting together.

What have changed?

• He got a job, live a better financial live than I am now, managed to convince me that he can provide me with his support and care but all material and nothing emotional. 
• Golden is attached to him more than he is to me but still a very good companion to us both.
• He has joined a new org, "LifeLine" where he volunteers for greater environment and greater social care. Every 2 weeks or so he would go for their activities.
• He picked up Ukulele, something I'm interested in but does not have the heart to learn. He will play me a song or two sometimes.
• Conversation gets dull and I'm doing most of the talking all the time, updating about myself. I have to ask most of the time about him for me to know what's been up in his life. Yes, we do live under the same roof but I don't know much about what happens with his family or work if he does not tell. I feel like I'm just another part of his life story instead of a part of him. Maybe that's the difference between men and women. I include him in my life as half of me and tells him things. This character of his makes me not want to say much about anything and leaves our days even more dull.
• The only drama that we watch together is Supernatural.
• Our taste in movies differs - even our superhero aren't the same. I like Ironman and Batman but he prefers Superman.

Time will see through everything.

P/S: I'm ignoring him today because he acted violently on Golden today.